Goodbye 'Scared of the Big Bad World'

In light of the fact that I have this new job which is all satisfying and great and has dramatically altered my life, making me happier and less afraid to take on the world, I have decided to change this blog into a Bicycle blog. So goodbye to the boring old 'Scared of the Big Bad World' blog, though you can still see my old posts from back then, not that you would want to read them as they are all bla bla bla, yadda yadda, yackety smackety boring nonsense that no one in their right mind should care about.

I Want to Ride my Bicyle, I Want toRride my Bike

Gee, been a while since I wrote to this blog, or any of my blogs for that matter. Guess I haven't had much to write about or just been too busy actually. Because, that's right, I got myself a job. Yeah, like 9 weeks ago! I'm a bicycle courier. I got the idea as I was regularly going out cycling in the Phoenix Park due to boredom. I fell in love with it and thought, why not make some money out of it. And it was easy, filled in an application form, then they called me and said here's the job, just like that, no interview or nothing.

It's been a roller coaster since then. I have had to endure stress, pain, low wages but I have also enjoyed the sun, the company of people and the high level of fitness I now have. And I am starting to feel settled and enjoy the job. I don't see myself doing it long term, but for now I like it. It feels good to be working and getting exercise at the same time.

If at First You don't Succeed

Try try again. Yeah yeah, I know. Back on the horse, bla bla blah. You see, I had this interview. I thought it was going to be it, my foot in the door to the film world. I could just imagine it, a Runner for an actual film and tv production company. Out of 150 applicants, 12 got to the first interview stage. Then about 4/5 got a second interview - including me! I was feeling so good about myself, until I got the call, that's right, the rejection call. Disappointment flooded me, followed by sadness, then deeper sadness, then anger, then self-hatred, then a weird calm, and then sadness again.

But hey! I just realised, at least I am trying. I am actually doing something. I'm not just sitting on my ass wishing and hoping and dreaming. I am trying to go after my dream. It's only the first try. And I actually did pretty well on my first attempt. So, logically I should do even better next time. The only thing, is that I can't seem to find another opportunity like this. I'm not seeing any windows right now. I suppose if I just keep looking I will find one, right?
But in the mean time, my money I had saved up is dwindling away. I still need a job. Well, I suppose if all else fails I can go work in fast food. yay

Christmas

I would just like to take some time away from scarey things and fears to talk about Christmas. It is above all others, my favourite day of the year. It is the one day I look forward to. A friend of mine recently told me that he does not like Christmas. He has reason not to, but I find this very sad. I agree that the commercial aspect has taken over and can be a bit ugly and make people greedy. I feel so lucky to have the family I have. We spend the whole of Christmas day together, in the sitting room, with a roaring fire going, and we sit and talk and eat crackers and cheese and paté, and cookies and chocolates and listen to Christmas music all day long. The presents are not important. Though I must admit I really enjoy watching one of my family members opening a present from me and seeing their face.
In fact I remember one year we were too poor to buy presents or even a tree. My younger brother went off on his bike to the Christmas tree lot and gathered all the scraps and branches laying around and we stuck them in the bookshelf and hung decorations on them. He made us sock puppets and I baked all kinds of cookies and treats and wrapped them under the "tree". It was one of the best Christmas years that I can remember.
Throughout the year I can be sad or scared, constantly worried, frustrated, fed up. But there is just something about Christmas day. I have never been sad on Christmas day. I have been sick, but not sad. Nothing plauges my mind on that day except good thoughts.

The Hunt is On

Job hunt that is. CV's flying everywhere, possibly striking people in the eye, which isn't great as CV's are made of paper. So, must be careful how you throw them at people. Next comes the hunt for the courage to pick up the old telephonic device and make some follow up phone calls. But this will be quite difficult as I have an irrational fear of talking on phones. Seriously, sweaty palms, a thundering heart and a quivering voice accompanied by uncontrolable shaking followed by loss of memory and identity. It's great fun it is. Looking forward to it, or not doing it more likely and then hitting myself. But not too hard now, because I bruise easily. Not like my brother, who just doesn't bruise at all, the bugger. You could whack him with a hammer, and nothing. Not that I have ever hit him with a hammer. Maybe I could make some money off of his amazing super freakness, like travel the country with a circus and show him off while hitting him with various objects.

Day of The Ninja

Fear the Ninja, for they are silent and deadly, stalking the night and killing victims with swift precision and cunning. Warriors of the night, definitely something to be scared of.
Today, the 5th of December be 'Day of The Ninja', where people the world over who are not ninjas, or 'nonjas' as they are otherwise known, can be ninjas for the day. Celebrate the day by dressing as a ninja, see image above, participating in Ninja related activities and deathtivities, creeping around and sneaking like a ninja and just opening yourself to general ninjaness.

Changes

Still scared of the world and a new development will surely make me all the more scared. Things are a changing and I am leaving home, Finally!! Going out into the big bad world to fend for myself. But I am also very excited. Living out in the country eats away at young people's souls until they turn into lonely old farts. Nah, I'm only joking. I'm just referring to myself. I personally need to be nearer to the city life, where I can open myself to exciting experiences (and scarey) and develop with other people my own age or at least anyone that is not, well, old. I don't mean that in a bad way, you know, old people are lovely. And oft times very cool. It's just I feel that as a young person I need to be around young people also, my peers, as you know, they are in the same position as me.
Now, where was I, oh yeah, fending for myself. Actually, that is not a new thing. I have fended for myself before and I am practically the secondary provider for my poor parents. I have more money than they do! All the more reason to flee the nest and take my money with me for myself! So in conclusion, the world just got a little more scarey, but also better. 'For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction' - Newton's law of motion - because after all I am in motion, I am moving forward.